The goal's simple enough. Write 50,000 words in a month (November). That goal has been acheivable once. I've done this three times and plan to do it again next year. I'm considering going back to each of these stories but at the moment they are as you see them. Enjoy!
NaNoWriMo - 2003 - 14521 words
NaNoWriMo - 2004 - 16823 words
NaNoWriMo - 2005 - 51520 words
NaNoWriMo - 2006 - 56723 words
NaNoWriMo - 2007 - 51036 words
NaNoWriMo - 2008 - 27836 words - In Progress
I'm featured in a Free Lance-Star article about locals doing NaNoWriMo (2006).1.
James shifted his colossal weight from one side of the stool to the other while adjusting his glasses which reflected the monitor in front of him. As if noticing for the first time, yet being in the conversation for at least ten minutes, James looked up at the fuming customer. Too lazy or apathetic to get up, Conrad didn't know which, James sat as an immovable mountain in the way of the customer getting his computer fixed. Conrad was tempted to offer his two cents but after listening to the plaintative concerns of the middle aged man in front of James, Conrad knew better than to stick his neck into that mess.
"There's something wrong with my computer." the man had stated, his name as generic as any of the hundred Conrad had heard that day. He looked like a Russell or a Oliver. Someone who used his computer for research, composing carefully considered e-mails and doing the families tax returns. Someone who probably did not tax his drab beige box in the least but yet had managed to stall it's processing causing a flurry of anger from the man and yet another customer for Conrad and James to deal with that evening.
The two of them were working the evening shift from six to nine at EverOn Computers, normally the quiet hours at the computer repair store with the occassional customer dropping in to either pick up or drop off their computer or buy a part. Most of the hours Conrad and James spent browsing the web or idly staring out the window into the darkness of night. They had various chores they could be doing, like reminding people that they're customers were waiting to be picked up or doing inventory. But those tasks could be done tomorrow and by someone else even though Conrad was sure he was working the next morning as well.
"Well," James returned slowly, in no rush to hear what the man had to say "What's seems to be the problem?"
The question was vague and farreaching, the techs in the back hoping that the customer would be able to narrow their search for the problem. Their hopes were often dashed, as most customers hadn't the slightess clue why their computer was broken. It just was. Why else would the be bringing it here?
"Well when I bring up ExpressTax Pro the program crashes and gives me a weird message with numbers. Here, I wrote it down." the man answered, producing a piece of folded yellow paper on which he had written down what appeared to Conrad to be the memory address from the core dump.
The man expected James and Conrad to take one look at the error numbers and translated it into an easily solvable problem. James moved his jowels down to view the paper. This didn't help in the least since Conrad knew James was farsighted and had to be within inches of whatever he was reading to see it. The company had had to buy a specially ordered magnifying screen to put in front of the monitor so James could see the screen from a decent distance. It didn't matter that James couldn't see the error code, it wouldn't have changed his answer.
"I'll let the techs know." James intoned to the man as he began jamming his stubby fingers into the keyboard which grinded Conrad's nerves the more they worked together. "We'd like to bring your computer in for a diagnostic. It's $35 and the tech will call you with the diagnosis." As if it was a sick patient.
"Well, don't you have someone here who can take a quick look at it? I really need to use my computer tonight." the man pleaded, peering over James's mountain sized shoulder.
"No sir, all our techs have gone home for the day." James answered, still jabbing away at the keyboard. This wasn't true. Marshall was in the back, a tech working late to get his monthly numbers up, but the workbenches were hidden from view so the man probably couldn't see him. There was a chane the customer might hear Marshall coursing as he often did while working on a computer or singing along to his music. Conrad and James knew Marshall wouldn't want to just take a look at it nor would he be able to fix it in just a few seconds.
The man grumbled to himself and then began answering James questions for his personal information. Conrad lost interest in the event, turning his eyes back to his own computer. He had been searching Wikipedia to see if they had an entry on whether it was possible to have a orgasm while peeing or as Marshall had called it, a "peegasm".
"Dude, it's the best. You know when you haven't taken a whiz in a super long time?" Marshall had explained to Conrad a few hours earlier. "And you finally release that bad boy and it's like the best feeling ever. That's a peegasm."
"That is pretty good." Conrad had to admit. After watching Forrest Gump, Conrad remembered having the most exquisite "peegasm" that must have lasted for at least two minutes if not more.
"It rocks man." Marshall confirmed, drumming the air with a screwdriver in one hand and a pen in the other in tempo with the punk music that was playing in the background.
Unsurprisingly, peegasm was not in Wikipedia. Conrad sent an instant message to Marshall to fill him in on the bad news.
Immeaditely, Marshall shot back "Dude, add it."
Conrad was about to write back "No, that's stupid. It'll get deleted in second." when it occurred to him that perhaps others out there were wondering just what word you would use to describe that wonderful feeling after holding in your urine for too long. Maybe he and Marshall would coin a term. So instead, Conrad wrote back "Sure."
To his left, James was waiting for the customer to sign the the contract allowing EverOn techs to start work on his computer while also absolving them of all blame if something went wrong. It wasn't an ironclad contract but it usually did the trick.
"A tech will call you in two or three days." James told the customer as he afixed the work order to the front of the desktop with a piece of tape.
The man's face siezed up in an expression of unbelief and anger which Conrad saw coming a mile away. "What do you mean two to three days?" the man glared at James who had started lifting up the computer to bring back to the receiving shelves but put it back down as he saw their conversation wasn't over. "I need my computer as soon as possible. When will someone work on my computer!"
"It goes in the back of the queue sir. People who have brought their computers in before you are waiting as well." James answered, not letting the man's rage get to him.
"And how long will that be?" The man spat the words at James.
James shrugged, turning to the five shelves that were tucked to the side behind a partition. Three of the five shelves had computers on them, each shelf being about one days wait in Conrad's experience. It wasn't a rule or anything, it really dependended on what computers came before yours, how long it took to fix them, if an emergency problem came up that bumped you from the queue or the tech's were just feeling lazy. The man moved over to where Conrad was sitting trying to get a better angle on where James was looking. Conrad hoped being closer to man wouldn't cause him to get dragged into this argument. James was the manager tonight, not him.
"Shit!" the man exclaimed taking in the number of computers sitting on the shelves. It wasn't like they were hiding them from sight, so the man could see the shelves of desktops, laptops and printers waiting to be serviced before his. Conrad knew it wasn't that bad, that this was the generally load EverOn liked to keep. If the techs didn't have anything to work on, they got restless and when they got restless, well it was just better to keep them occupied.
"Well," James began. Here it comes, Conrad thought. "You can get emergency service if you like."
"And what does that get me?" the man asked, his interesting piqued although he was cautious as he now knew James wasn't as forthcoming with details as the man expected him to be.
"You go to the front of the queue." James explained. No, an EMT rolls up in front of the store and it takes your computer to the emergency room Conrad mumbled to himself.
"How much is that?" the man asked again, thinking this was the answer to his prayers.
"Prepare to be dissappointed." Conrad muttered.
"$70." James quoted impassively.
"On top of the diagnostic fee I'm already paying?" the man exclaimed. James nodded.
Yes, the emergency fee. Essentially pure profit for the company, the techs loving and hating the policy since it benefited their numbers but put another ball in the four or five machines they were currently juggling with a priority on it's head. The owners had priced it higher so that most fools wouldn't go for it while low enough so that the desperate would.
Conrad watched the man balance the loss of his computer for two, more likely three days versus the loss of seventy more dollars. James might also have reminded the customer right now that what he had paid for was only to figure out what was wrong with the computer, not how much it would cost to fix it. But James was a lazy employee and Conrad was busy entering "peegasm" into Wikipedia.
The bottom dollar won out and the man said "No, that's fine. Just make sure the tech calls me as soon as possible." Turning on his heel the man stormed out of the store muttering to himself how he was going to explain this to his kids.
Hearing the door chime ring, signalling that the customer had left, Marshall glided up to the front of the store.
"What's wrong with this?" He asked, tapping it with a screw driver. Marshall always had a phillips head screwdriver with him, whether it was in his pocket, down his pants or most often in his hand. James shrugged, getting ready to pick the computer up. "Emergency?" Marshall asked.
"Nope." Conrad said over his shoulder as he typed. "Sounded like his kids might have some movies or music on there though."
Conrad hadn't been able to spot the signs when he first started working at EverOn but after working there for two months, most employees knew when the true owner of the computer was not the parent bringing it in for service. That real owner was also the reason it was broken.
"Huh." Marshall murmured as he jumped on to the counter while James clummsily pushed the computer onto a bottom shelf behind them. "Whatcha working on?"
Conrad stopped typing and stared at him. "The Wikipedia article on "peegasm". I just told you that two seconds ago."
"Seriously?" Marshall seemed surprised. "Awesome. Oh, make sure to add a note to be carefully not to get pee strain."
Conrad was just about to put his fingers back on the keyboard when this term entered his brain. His brain chewed it over for a seconds, decided it didn't like the taste of what Conrad had just heard and spit it back out. "Pee strain?" Conrad asked cooly.
"Yeah man. I didn't realize it but check it. So you're saving up for a really good peegasm. I'm talking a couple days or so." James laughed behind them but Conrad and Marshall ingored him. "So you can't hold it any longer and you pee like you've never peed before. You whiz so hard you think your dicks going to explode."
"Yeah." Conrad concurred, knowing the feeling Marshall was describing although never having gone more than a day without urinating.
"Well, that'll fuck you up." Marshall declared.
"What, your dick actually explodes?" Conrad asked.
"Naw man but I dunno. Something. Like you strain your dick so it thinks it still has more pee to go but it doesn't. So you're in there, trying to go, your dick is telling you you need to go but the wells dry. Ain't nothing coming up."
"Nice." Conrad replied, turning back to his monitor, clicking the edit tab.
"Yeah man, I've been sitting in the bathroom for twenty minutes. My dick still hurts." Marshall said massaging his groin.
"Didn't I just IM you?"
"Oh, check it. New hotness." Marshall exclaimed, jumping down from the counter and pulling out his new cellphone. It was a thin curved box made of plastic with a large screen which slid a part to reveal a keyboard underneath. "I'm able to send SMS messages through IM. So I can text while I poo!" Marshall was very proud.
"Fantastic." Conrad acknowledged without as much enthusiasm. An IM window on his monitor popped up with the words "new hotness". Marshall had sent a message just to confirm that his phone was indeed the new hotness.
The remainder of the evening past without much incident, a couple more computers coming in for service and a couple more going home. Conrad entertained a father with his son by speccing out a new computer but failed to close the sale. Conrad's sales numbers were respectable but not outstanding which was exactly where he liked to keep them. He didn't try to force a computer on customers nor felt he had to. He'd sell one or two this week and none the next. It all seemed to work out in the end of the month numbers so Conrad never put much thought into it. Others at EverOn did and Conrad was happy to let them chase those sales.
By nine it was time to close the store. Conrad locked the door, turned the neon "OPEN" sign off and headed to the back of the building to get the vacuum cleaner. If Conrad had to rank a duty lower than dealing with customer complaints it was this. Conrad rarely vacuumed his own apartment every month let alone every night which was the policy at EverOn. It wasn't difficult and Conrad knew he'd prefer this over counting out the sales for the day which was the managers responsibility but it still wrangled him that he was cleaning an otherwise clean carpet. Once a week was fine with Conrad.
Pushing the vacuum around the corner, Conrad stopped short seeing James talking to the man from earlier that evening. Conrad couldn't see James' face but he could imagine it was the epitome of boredom. The policy was clear. Once the door was closed, the manager did not have to open it again till the next business day especially while he was counting the days take. The man on the outside's face was face was a storm of agitation but the most severe weather pattern was worry. Apparently, returning home without the family computer had not been the right choice to make.
Putting the vacuum to the side wall, Conrad walked over to James who true to form was staring blankly at the man less than a foot away from him. "So, what are you going to do?" Conrad asked, hoping to spark some movement in his lumbersome boss. The sooner James finished counting the money and Conrad finished cleaning the store, the sooner they both could get out of here.
"Huh?" James grunted as if he had fallen asleep while standing.
Conrad rolled his eyes. "Did you start counting the money?"
"Nope." James answered simply. Conrad looked behind and it didn't appear that the cash drawer was out but he thought he could see what he hoped was the print out for the days numbers and what James' counting should match up to.
"Let him in then. I don't want him attacking me when I go to my car." Conrad said, moving to unlock the door, knowing it would be an epoch before James did it. The parking lot for EverOn was in the front of the building meaning employees and customers entered and exited through the same door. Which made entering the store in the mornign when waiting customers were prowling a chore. Conrad yearned to use the receiving entrance in the back as a hidden entrance but there was a strict policy about keeping it clear for delivieries.
"Thank you." the man said, coming in as soon as Conrad had unlocked the door. Still not wanting to be involved in this transaction, Conrad quickly retreated to the safety of the front desk. James too began moving back to counter with the man in tow.
"How can I help you?" James asked and Conrad could detect irritation in his voice. While Conrad knew James did not have much of a social life, he didn't like being held up at work either and probably wanted to get back to his MMPORG at home.
The man paced for a few seconds and then asked "The emergency service puts me at the front of the queue right?"
"Yup." James answered, already moving to bring the man's work order back up.
"When do you think it will be done?" the man shot back.
"I can't say sir." James replied "The techs will call you as soon as they know what the problem is."
This didn't seem to please the man but for once he took the hint that was evident on James' face. No more detailed information would be coming from that side of the counter. Sighing, the man said "Fine. Give me the emergency service."
James nodded while picking up the new work order that had just come off the printer. The man signed it not making any mention of it showing up so quickly and left as Conrad held open the door.
"Ass." Conrad muttered to himself.
"What did he want?" Marshall asked, his shirt untucked, ready to leave.
"Ended up getting the emergency service." James answered, not bothering to affix a new work order sheet to the front of the computer but to Conrad's relief getting started on the night's tally.
"Must be something good on there." Conrad said plugging in the vacuum.
"Or his kids are too addicted to WoW." Marshall muttered, rereading the work order notes. Marshall rolled his eyes at the symptoms. This computer was headed for a wipe and reload.
"WoW is cool." James said defiantly which Conrad hoped did not throw off his counting.
"Oh yeah, real cool." Marshall said twirling his finger in the air "What are you James? A pixie?" To which Marshall pranced around the counter. Conrad laughed and lost the rest of the conversation as he turned the vacuum on.
.2.
Conrad slid into work a minute before opening. Normally this would be fine. Richard, the owner would have opened the store and Conrad would just have to make a brief once over to see that yes they did not get robbed within the twelve hours he had been away from EverOn.
new employee
want to eat breakfast
shows employee around
interact with customer
describe other workers
new employee fakes sick parent
best buy comes in. start to lose business. end up selling more computers and repairs by charging more.